It’s only taken me a week, but managed to stay awake enough and fit enough to pop down to Aldi for some staples + ingredients for my next recipe (Goulash Meatloaf). Now that I’m home again, all I want to do is sleep.
I don’t know anymore whether to blame erratic weather conditions (especially since Autumn is normally my most favourite season of the year) or a combination of my own health issues getting the better of me, or a combination of both.
With my own health issues being bi-lateral lymphoedema (elephantias, both legs), IBS and diabetes, it makes me highly prone to infections, digestion issues and a combination of all 3 frequently drains me of energy so that I’m always tired. Thanks to my legs my balance is non existent and dizzy spells are frequent.
I’m noticing lately signs of CFS. Not all the signs, but some… at least 4 of the more obvious symptoms; loss of concentration, not feeling refreshed after a night’s sleep, but then my sleep is always broken, I nap in allotments more than sleep a full night. I get muscle and joint pain, although I often put the latter down to arthritis that comes with age and weight issues & heart palpitations have become the norm for me despite the fact having my heart frequently checked over and the diagnosis is that my heart is perfectly fine, so all I can put it down to is my heart reacting to all my other health issues. These might not be all the symptoms, but it’s enough to make me question if I perhaps have a sub category of CFS. Another symptom mentioned is sensitivity to light, smells, touch, sound, foods, chemicals and medications. I’m not sure about chemicals, but I have always been overly sensitive to the rest of the items mentioned in the list, and lately, that sensitivity has greatly heightened to the point of extreme discomfort. And although I don’t suffer headaches, my head seems to be frequently in a fog. A lot of the other symptoms mentioned, I’ve put blame on my current health issues, because sadly, CFS has a lot in common with a lot of the other stuff I’m going through.
As it’s too soon really to confirm this, I’ll wait a few months to see if these symptoms continue.
Be funny though if doctors manage to confirm this. It’s not the first time I’ve picked up on something in my own body before the doctors. Thanks to a talk show on Foxtel, that’s how I picked up on my lymphoedema. Tests proved it’s definitely in one leg, but because my other leg was in sympathy with the leg with the condition (this is common in my body, when one side of me has a problem, out of sympathy, the other side of me will mimic the problem), so it was diagnosed bi-lateral.
The doctors picked up on my diabetes in my 20s, but I knew about my IBS. Having been born with a variety of bowel issues that were never fixed, by some miracle I survived them (twisted bowl which became blockage in the bowel which became extreme IBS).
In the past, I also suspected that I had PCOS, and the doctor’s have tried to test me for this, but because of my odd body shape, tests were inconclusive, but having gone through menopause now, (finally, since that time of the month was hell on earth for me), I can forget about that. I put up with the surrounding symptoms every month still, so I’m frequently reminded about “that time of the month” but at least the agonising pain that comes with the monthly is greatly reduced, and it’s only the discomfort of the other symptoms I have to tolerate.
But it’s the CFS I question now. The symptoms have been building up for some time, I recognise some that I’ve had all my life, and others I’ve noticed happen only in recent months and weeks. So I can’t be certain. So I’ll wait a few months (as some websites suggest) and see if these symptoms continue or worsen before I decide to ask a doctor to test me (if possible) for it. I’m kind of hoping I’m wrong. I’m already fighting too many other issues that have no cure and only treatments that heal the symptoms (lymphoedema, IBS) but not the problem itself.
I’m also my own worst critic. I keep telling myself maybe this is all in my head, maybe I’m just lazy, and I have had my moments of laziness in the past, but I also recognise it can’t be that 24/7 because on the rare occasion I have energy, I’m on my feet doing as much as physically possible to get a lot done before the fatigue takes over again, so I can’t always be in that frame of mind of just wanting to be lazy, especially since mentally, I’m forever fighting my body. I don’t know how to describe this, the best I can come with is being a driver locked in the cabin of a truck and the only way to get things done is to move the truck, only to have the truck frequently break down, and no matter how much you put your foot on the pedal or turn the steering wheel, the truck just doesn’t move, and the phone being dead, you can’t call for outside help. That’s what life for me often feels like. Me stuck in the cabin of a frequently broken down truck with no one to call for help.
I’ve often joked that before I was born, when they were handing out illnesses, I went to the tables that had no queues and avoided all the tables with lengthy queues. Trust me to pick the illnesses that no doctor can fully understand yet.
Such is life.